well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
