I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
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