So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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