What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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