hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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