You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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