you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
