Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
