These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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