direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
