I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
