I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
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