i jhust puked up my retainher.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
This toilet bowl is my home.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
