Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
