i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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