my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I am mentally ready for anal.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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