I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
