When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
