its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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