Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
