Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
