i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
