help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
