Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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