How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
