Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
