Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
