Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I party with great urgency now.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize