Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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