I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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