just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize