Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My dick has a subreddit
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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