My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize