whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
