You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
