This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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