thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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