I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
