either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
