her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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