He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize