Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
