My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
