This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
