Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
