none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
