so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
They took my balls.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
