Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
vagina is talking i cant
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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