Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
