"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
