shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
