It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
