I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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