Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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