arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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