i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
