That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
