you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
