I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
