we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
