My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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