that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
