That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
