ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
