I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Even my vagina gasped.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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