Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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