dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
