More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
