She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
