Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
