so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize