so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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