i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
