he thought i was a dude.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
