haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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