A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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