I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
