Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize