I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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