I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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