All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
last night I used snow as a chaser
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize