it wasn't lemon gatorade
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
