everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
